Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Heard over and overheard

Ridiculous lyrics in the Top 40 - Heard over and over this week (I listen to the radio when I work)

Let'shave some fun, this beat is sick.

I wanna take a ride on your disco stick.

Special mention to Shakira for getting the word 'lycanthropy' into a song.

I'm starting to feel just a little abused like a coffee machine in the office.

This almost, but not quite, tops the lyrics of her first hit: Whenever, Wherever -

Lucky that my breasts are small and humble,

So you don't confuse them with mountains.

Sugababes - Hey Sexy

I hate this song. Not because it's worse than usual dribble the Sugababes have degenerated into lately, but because there's just no excuse for badly constructed English. It sets a bad example to our youth.

When I'm drivin' in my car

Or I'm standing at the bar

It's no matter where I are

They say, 'Hey Sexy.'

It hurts.

Conversational snippets overheard, not necessarily recently.

Two women talking while bored man looks on:

Woman: We thought my son was gay for a long time, you know. He's only really had two girlfriends.

Man: And one of those was a man.

Howard: Friends are like gifts, with baggage.

A couple:

She: Does anything bother you about our relationship?

He: (Long pause) The only thing that really bothers me is the towels.

She: (Bemused silence)

He: That you just fold them up and leave them when they're obviously damp or wet. I mean, they won't dry that way. They just smell of mould. There's no logic in it. It just doesn't make any sense. Don't you think about it? When you do that? When you leave them out and they're damp?

She: No. I don't think about the towels at all.

The table behind mine in a cafe:

Man: You can't be adventurous and have a threshold!