Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal. Albert Camus

I never guess. It is a capital mistake to theorize before one has data. Insensibly one begins to twist facts to suit theories, instead of theories to suit facts.
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, The Sign of the Four

Today's image is called 'The Lost Witch' and is by the awesomely talented Cat Brown over at (which I always misread first of all as deviant tart) - check out her online gallery, she works in a variety of mediums and is, I think, a rather talented individual. But don't take my word for it. Check out the online gallery and make up your own mind!

I've got all my days confused this week and keep finding myself in the wrong place at the wrong time. Time is a notion that haunts me: my life is ruled by it, but it doesn't actually exist. I think my confusion is something to do with the moon. My stars keep telling me of intense emotions that I find hard to control and harder to express (emotional expression is usually fairly normal for a moody Cancerian like moi) and I think it's sending my head a bit Dutch elephant (I'm trying to invent a piece of new slang every day this week - today it's Dutch elephant. Yesterday, it was 'Mind me change of blankets!' - ok, I might be making this stuff up).

There are some points of change in my life where all the major shifts that are happening, happen on the outside - changing jobs, going freelance, travelling, meeting new people, for example. When even the smallest things in my life change, the ripple effect these changes can bring can be more momentous than the original changes themselves. This year has been full of such outside changes, lots of them, in fact, one after the another and I have changed a large amount of my thoughts, ideas and even my dreams as a result.

At the moment, though, I think there are major shifts going on, as it were, 'inside', that is to say, emotionally - maybe fear of the future, changing dreams and shifting expectations. Changes like this are altogether more subtle than the other kind, and, I find, sometimes a little harder to work out. For me, these shifts are evidenced in moments of sudden mood change, from euphoria to despair in 60 seconds - and sometimes in slightly erratic moments of behaviour or unusual choices. The last couple of days have been a bit like this. Maybe it's just end of year madness.

Yesterday, I went to the Aspex Gallery in Gunwharf, with three people that have become very important to me this year, all from the Ministry of Culture: The Chief himself, the glamorous Miss Sally and the luscious Lisa Clark. Aspex was amazing - a fantastic space, and a superb exhibition, the likes of which I have been clamouring for in Portsmouth all year, called Is Britain Great: The Caravan Gallery tour.

We had a lovely lunch (Shon, especially for you, I had a baguette containing roasted vegetables smothered in mozarella cheese, followed by a slice of the most divine carrot cake and accompanied by a latte), in the most ridiculously comfortable chairs, whilst discussing Lisa's Book Launch (could that, as a concept, be more fabulous in itself?) and the aesthetic value of birds on blancmange - Final result on the B on B's: Miss Sally and Lisa felt there was no aesthetic value in them, the chief believed there was, and I could see both sides of the argument. Personally, I was much more taken with the rings with mild obscenities on them, but that may just be a matter for personal taste.

After lunch, the Chief sent me off into the gallery to look at the exhibition, and I would happily have spent the rest of the afternoon there, given half the chance. Pictures of graffiti, social commentary and a huge amount of humour nestle comfortably together in this exhibition, and I was laughing out loud for most of it. Right up until the point where I cried - you see what I mean about the sudden mood swings?!

Tonight I'm off to Southampton to watch The Delays with Glenn. He's insisting we go ridiculously early, even though I know they won't come on until some obscene time in the evening. But there's just no arguing with Capricorns.

Today's Beautiful Things

1. The Cheerful Chief and his Chipper Chirpyness

2. Howling at an absent moon

3. The Aesthetics of the Big Blue Tit


Anonymous said...

Hey Sarah, it's me Tom Baker! Thats right Tom bloody Baker!

You know the time-lord of the telly, chases Darleks and that!!

Anyway just wanted to say, loving the Daily and have been reading it on the QT.

Let me know how the night went with the G and will get the update on the gallery as well.

Mood swings are to remind you that were designed to feel or you could just be mental! It's more likely that you've realised Gods a man and you gonna have one big apology to make one day :o)

Big shout to the anonymous Royston Vasey and Lady Shon - Happy Capatalism to one and all!!!

TB - Timelord x


Dill said...

Hey Saa,

i am so glad you are being as weird as poss too, if it makes you feel better i burst into tears this morning when the GMTV crew sand Jingle Bells, once it turned into racking sobs i thought maybe it was somehting else, now i too can blame the moon!!

Lunch sounds nice. So far mine has consisted of 20 celebrations and a satsuma!!

Love to the timelord and tell him i once met Tom Bloody Baker and made him a cup of tea, he asked my opinion on his new coat and i said it was lovely! I am sooooooooooooooo in with the celebs.

Love to G as well.

P.S have left you lots of crazy messages on your answer machine, i may just leave another you heaps.

Shon. xxx