Thursday, November 29, 2007

Getting to Know You

You know, it's funny what you change your mind about. For instance, I always swore I would never post one of those lame email circular 'Getting to know you' posts. And yet......

Today my friend, the rather delightful Richard, sent me one of the very same, and given the lateness of the hour, I can't help but think to share.

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
Not that I know of. I'd like to think it's after Sarah Bernhardt. I too am often referred to as 'The divine Sarah', although mostly only by me.

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
Monday night, like a small badger who had just lost their chocolate buttons.

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
Very much, especially in fountain pen. And in purple ink. On cream coloured paper. I have a secret stationery fetish.

4. FAVOURITE LUNCH MEAT?
I'm a vegetarian. It used to be tuna. Does that count as meat? It has a face.

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
No, I have parents and an older brother. It can be similar.

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
Unlikely, I'd probably find myself too self-obsessed. Although actually, if I was me being friends with me, this might make me like me more. We'd both be obsessed with me, which would mean I would get to talk about myself twice as much as I normally do. So, I've changed my mind, the answer's yes. I'd love me. I'd want to be with me all the time.

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?
What a ridiculous suggestion.

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS
Yes. They don't take them out any more. You have to do it yourself by tying string round them, tying the string to a door and then slamming the door. No, hold on, that's teeth.

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
It would depend what was chasing me.


10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE CEREAL?
Muesli. Preferably swiss. I bought this cheap stuff recently that had cinnamon. It was vile. I felt betrayed by my local supermarket and have written a very stiff letter of complaint to the manager. On cardboard.

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?

Never. Or when I put them on. This is mostly because almost none of my shoes have laces. I never learnt to tie bows.

12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?
Stronger than your average bear, yes.

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE ICE CREAM?
I prefer sorbet, which is strange because it always makes me look like I'm sucking a lemon. If it's lemon sorbet, this is actually kind of true, but you know what I mean.

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
Their expression. It's important to notice this. It can provide an early indicator as to whether someone is about to attack you. Whether they're carrying an assault rifle is also a vital clue.


15. RED OR PINK?
red or pink what? Some things should be pink. If they're red, it could mean they're bleeding.

16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVOURITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
My inability to answer questions succinctly, choosing instead to ramble vaguely about the point, rarely and sometimes never actually arriving at what I meant to say when I was first asked the question, and often totally forgetting what it was in the first place.


17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
My other personality.

18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU?
No, I wrote it. I already know what it says.

19. WHAT COLOUR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
A really bright pink, but still on the right side of fluorescent, and black boots. That's not all I'm wearing, obviously. I'm at my day job right now.

20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?

Shortbread.


21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?

The sound of typing.


22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON WHAT COLOUR WOULD YOU BE?
Purple , same as Richard, but I would add that I would be blunted and broken, with half my paper ripped off.

23. FAVOURITE SMELLS?

My boyfriend's neck.


24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
My mum.


25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?
More than I could describe in words. Though I would have a go if he needed a reference or anything.


26. FAVOURITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
As if.

27. HAIR COLOUR?
A photographer once told me it was titian (LIU,D), but I was called ginger throughout my childhood. Most people say that I'm not ginger anymore, which would have pleased me back then but annoys me now. I usually refer to it as the colour of dirty dishwater.


28. EYE COLOUR?
Blue.


29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?

I have a phobia of anything going into my eyes, so no. I do have glasses, but I always forget them, which means I spend a lot of time squinting at people in the street or across a room. This often makes them think I have a personality disorder way before the experience of talking to me confirms their suspicion.


30. FAVOURITE FOOD?
Mexican. Anything Mexican. Not people, though. That's actually illegal in most, if not all countries now. If I'm allowed to wear a sombrero whilst eating Mexican food, then happiness is mine.


31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?

Scary movies with happy endings.

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
Hot Fuzz. Awesome. Yarp.

33. WHAT COLOUR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
Red jumper.

34. SUMMER OR WINTER?

Summer . Unless it's for the Olympics, because I like the ski jumping. Especially when they fall down.

35. HUGS OR KISSES?
Being kissed while being hugged.


36. FAVOURITE DESSERT?
Chocolate things. But not cheesecake. Cheesecake and chocolate should never be combined. It actually contravenes an ancient byelaw

37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
Me.

38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND
You.

39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?

Jim Butcher's latest Harry Dresden novel. Ah-sum.
41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T.V. LAST NIGHT?
Don't watch TV. Well, sometimes Question Time or CSI Miami because the ginger guy is so intensely bad it makes me laugh.


42. FAVOURITE SOUND?
Running water. Preferably rivers or the sea, more than say, a urinal.

43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
Beatles, because all you need is love and I have no sympathy for the Devil. I do have a secret fascination with Lucifer, but don't tell anyone.


44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
Canada

45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
Answering questionnaires. Oh, and the ability to read minds. I cannot believe you would actually do that to an animal, dude. Seek help.


46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
Here. Portsmouth, I mean, not at my desk.

47. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK?
Everyone's.

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